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Misfits: Famous monsters

19/03/09 || Daemonomania

Do you like Volbeat circa “Rock the rebel, metal the devil”? How about long walks on the beach? Or pastrami sandwiches? Well, if you answered yes to any of those three there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy “Famous monsters”. Or eating a pastrami sandwich. On the beach. While listening to Volbeat. I think I may have just described the reward I’ll enjoy for walking into a shopping mall with this dynamite vest…uh, whoops, I mean for my numerous good deeds in this life.

No one really wants to hear a long, boring history of the Misfits. So I’ll summarize. They were a punk band with signature hairdos and morbid lyrical content that formed in the ‘70’s. Everyone pretty much sucked except for Danzig, but the tunes were catchy as hell. Danzo went his own way, and the other dudes (mostly bassist Jerry Only) did a few wacky things in between. Like get “born again” and start a Christian band called Kryst the Conqueror. Why? Get ready for it…to make up for the sinfulness of the Misfits. Hi-fuckin-larious. Kryst failed, and so Jerry decided there was no other way to atone for the pure vile iniquity of the Misfits than to REFORM the Misfits! Take that, sin.

Before I start to talk about the album in question, however, I’d like to offer this DISCLAIMER: not talking shit about the original Misfits here, or degrading their excellently dumb but profoundly entertaining tunes. There’s no doubt they were better than any version of the group that has come since. And a pile of frozen dog doo is better than the current Misfits, so beware of that shit. It is like canine droppings that have not only frozen, mind you, but laid hidden under the snow for months, only to de-thaw and be stepped in AGAIN! Insidious.

The mid to late 90’s incarnation of the band, despite what most die-hard devillockers will have you believe, were not half bad. Michale Graves took over the vocal spot for two albums, and while he’s no Hellvis, the man can belt out some 50’s-inspired punk crooning with the best of ‘em. The rest of the band, including a man behind the kit named Dr. Chud (awesome) and Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein on guitars, added a lot more standard, chugging heavy metal to the mix. While there’s nothing technical on here, fans of the Volbeat will see a lot of similarities. Good time inducing hard rocking with the occasional outside influence like punk or rockabilly. And impeccable production.

Highlights abound. “Scream!” is an excellent ballad, as is “Saturday night.” “The forbidden zone,” “Pumpkin head,” and “Living hell” are great faster numbers. And the epic “Descending angel” will have anyone who can handle a bit of the 80’s in their metal diet throwing up the horns indeed. Oh, and regarding the song titles – I’m guessing Danzig wrote most of the lyrics back in the day, since the band seems to have given up and started writing about horror movies they’ve watched. Like, “Pumpkin head” just reiterates the plot of Pumpkin head. Good job, everyone. Pat yourself on your Krystian back. Lance Henriksen is sitting somewhere listening to this CD with a scowl on his face right now.

So if you can dig fast bursts of metal, a bit punkified and unserious, this might be a hot ticket for ya. I know every song on here, even the shitty ones, and the disc as a whole brings back good memories of summertime, drinking, and pastrami sandwiches aplenty. I’ll give “Famous monsters” 7.5 long walks on the beach out of 10.

Information
Released: 1999
Label: Roadrunner
Website: www.misfits.com
Band
Michale Graves: vocals
Jerry Only: bass
Dr. CHUD: drums
Doyle Wolfgang von Frakenstein: guitars

Tracklist
01. Kong at the Gates
02. Forbidden Zone
03. Lost in Space
04. Dust to Dust
05. Crawling Eye
06. Witch Hunt
07. Scream!
08. Saturday Night
09. Pumpkin Head
10. Scarecrow Man
11. Die Monster Die
12. Living Hell
13. Descending Angel
14. Them
15. Fiend Club
16. Hunting Humans
17. Helena
18. Kong Unleashed

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